# 如何突破虚假的自我认知？
女性思维下（不是说就是女性，只是可能女性更多些，但基于我没有给出各种权威调研机构的报告或论文等，所以仅作为我的个人感知型认知），阻止我们获得更大成就的往往是我们自己，我们自己的对自己的虚假认知——觉得自己不够好。
用中国传统文化来简单诠释的话，阴守柔，擅守；阳刚健，擅攻。女性领导力往往是指女性特质所带来的优势能力的发挥，但在谈及领导力时，往往赞美女性领导者的词是男性化特征，包括男性化思维。当然，最完美的领导者是雌雄同体的，但这很难。所以明确自己的特征，发挥特征的优势面到极致才是多数人可以走通的路。
扯回来，如果一个人守柔的特点重，但不是发挥在以柔克刚、人际关系力强上，而是体现在思维上的“我不行，我还不够好，我还是不去尝试了”，那不谈领导他人，仅仅是领导自己，想要在职场上被更多看见就会更难，可以说会举步维艰。再用这种没被看见，以及没被看见所带来的价值感缺失，成就感缺失来反证自己不行，就陷入了恶性循环的伪因果逻辑自洽。
所以，无论你是否是陷入了与人比较或世俗标准的压力下给自己贴了我不够好，不太行的标签，都请你尽快撕下。
具体做法：
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重新设定合理的目标，评价标准。
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持续记录自己在做的具体的努力。
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定期考察和记录阶段性任何成果。
看积极面，积极面，积极面，放下找茬，放下“捅刀”，放下无视微小的成绩。
…
但关键还是先意识到“我对自己的描绘、评价是不是不够客观、公正，偏于消极否定了？” 如何快速地知道呢？
当你给我写你的教练主题问卷时，请以第三方的视角回看下你对自己的描述。
如果可以，转变的第一步从改写你对自己的表述开始。
我们身上有问题但不代表我们有问题。
我们现在感觉自己不够成功不代表我们无法成功，而且我们的感觉未必正确，不要轻易给自己下结论。
22 thoughts on “总觉得自己不够好？或许你需要先突破“虚假的自我认知”。”
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